


Metallic Invasion!

by maxim_potato



Category: Kirby (Video Games), Original Work
Genre: Actually Just One Giant Robot, Alternate Universe, Giant Robots, Illusion Magic, It's In Space Babey!, Loosely Fandom Based, Magic And Science In The Same Universe, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Oops! All OCs! - Freeform, Original Character That Uses Neopronouns, Probably At Least One Gun, Separate Classes In Society Based On Beauty, Taking Down A Capitalist Regime, despite being in love i cannot write people in love, i can explain this mess i swear, i specialize in the stupid banter okay, i still don't know how to tag, it's gay y'all don't worry, maybe a little romance, rated T for language and some suggestive stuff going on, we all love that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24538834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxim_potato/pseuds/maxim_potato
Summary: After the now-infamous Metallo Nocturne fled from the ties NightMare Empire for good, he and his allies Clovis and Resham are tasked with a new objective: taking down a woman who's gone nearly insane with power and has corrupted society to no end.(somewhat fandom based AU. lots of OCs, shit's in space but doesn't revolve entirely around the spaceships. also i expand way more on a one-off villain from a first-party game for the 3DS way more than necessary.)
Relationships: Meta Knight/Original Character(s), Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	1. Idle Time For Preparation

**Author's Note:**

> my fucking Federated States of Micronesia. i haven't touched this site in over a year but i'm back and in OC hell
> 
> so uh. this is an AU slash entirely different continuity i made here with uhhhh @zerosuited and. well. i made a story about it. so here it is 
> 
> there'll be a little glossary of the funky terms at the end 
> 
> big shoutout to @zerosuited for making about 90% of the AU, Clovis is their OC, Resham is mine 
> 
> also yes, Resham's nonbinary, sey use sey/sem, shut up pronounphobe(?)

“Could you go over the plan again?"  
  
Resham sighed, “Were you getting lost in Meta’s eyes again?”

“I believe it was my chest this time. He was not looking directly at me.” Meta said, voice as emotionless as ever. He watched as Clovis’s face flushed pink and he gave a barely visible smile, showing a hint of fang. 

“Alright, Clovis.” Resham looked unamused. “Here’s the basics. We’re breaking into Haltmandra to stop Susie from implanting an artificial parasite in these resource-rich planets.” Resham pointed to a series of pictures on seir desk, some grainy, others high-quality. “We have five days, according to the data we’ve received from this dude,” Seir hand moved to another photo, a purple-haired man flirting with someone cut out of the picture. “And he and a few others are gonna offer us places to stay during those five days, maybe help us out. Our story is that we’re going there for vacation. Meta, Clovis, you two are not in love with each other. Meta’s glamour will be…” Resham opened up seir computer, setting it on seir lap as sey scrolled through a series of images. Soon, sey found the right one, turning the computer around to show Meta and Clovis. “This.” A half-body shot of a man with skin a shade lighter than Meta’s, scarless and clear, plus shoulder-length deep sanguine hair and striking blue eyes. “And nix all the weird exotic features, because if a Haltmandran sees that, you’re doomed. Just make the body look as buff and Haltmandran as possible.” Sey shuts seir computer. “We’re gonna chill out in the infie sectors for a while, and Meta will have to glamour both himself and me at once when we get into the gem sectors. Clovis, you’ll be alright, I’m just an ugly fuck.” 

“Isn’t the gem sector incredibly specific about beauty standards?” Clovis tilted his head. 

“Yes, and you meet them, apparently. I haven’t quite made my glamour up yet, but I trust Meta will come up with a good one. I can’t see any of the glamours, so Clovis, you’ll have to confirm that Meta’s disguised properly.

Meta raised his hand, “I have never glamoured two people at once before.”

“Haven’t you glamoured Tem on a few occasions?” 

Meta thought back. “...I forgot about that. I did not want that memory.” 

“Did it hurt to glamour two people at once?” 

“No. I just despise Tem. Nightmare ensured my magical capabilities were extraordinary.” 

“Yeah, Tem’s a bitch.” 

“You are much less of a bitch and will not hurt to glamour.” 

“Thanks, buddy. Good to know.” Resham leaned back in seir chair, spinning around again. “Clovis, you know when the shuttle’s coming around, or you too busy thinking about getting dicked down by Meta?”

Clovis and Meta both turned pink, and Clovis, unwilling to admit Resham was a little right, squeaked “Three hours.” 

“Alright. Once we get on the shuttle, Meta, you start your glamour. If they see you as… well, this,” Resham gestures wildly to Meta in general, all his scars and scales and absurd height, “Miss Susie will snatch you up and clip you on a leash and maybe force you to go at her like you’re Tem. So don’t let anyone else see, and if we encounter a Third-Eye, you know what to do.” 

Meta nodded. He never spoke if he didn’t need to. Resham saw nothing, but Clovis saw his form melding into the glamour already. The scars and scales dissolved into his skin as it lightened just a bit, his hair shrinking back into his head and fluffing up, covering one of his bright blue eyes. Somehow, even Meta’s glamours were hot. 

Clovis sighed, “Well, we have three hours to kill before I have to pilot that shuttle. Any ideas?” 

“I’ll make myself a glamour, I don’t know about you two. Just… whatever. Spend all your time making yourselves in IconDump.” Resham deadpans, opens seir computer and starts typing away, searching. 

Meta scooped Clovis up into his arms, carrying them off to his room, and heard Clovis murmuring something. 

“Mm? What was that?”

“...I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” 

“To-  _ oh. _ ” He remembered what Resham just said. “Well, we’d like you to be able to walk when you need to fly the podship.” 

“You got me there.” Clovis nestled into Meta’s hold, and now was too comfy to put down. “We could find more on Haltmandra before we have to leave?” 

Meta nods. It’s quiet the rest of the way, before they reach Meta’s room, him managing to press his fingerprints against the door without setting Clovis down. The door slides shut behind him as he sits down on the side of the bed, Clovis reaching out to grab Meta’s computer only for Meta to let him go. 

“How could you  _ do _ this to me?” Clovis’s being very overdramatic as he feigns despair, Meta simply grabbing the computer and typing in the password. He quickly searches up all he can on Haltmandra while Clovis pouts on the other side of the bed. Clovis can hear Meta quietly read the articles aloud to himself, as he often does when he reads something long and difficult to focus on. 

“Haltmandra is a childless society known for an abundance of colonization in the second era, and since having signed the Treaty of Hyperion at the beginning of the third era, has… this is the most clinical article I have seen describing this society. These guys just go around _fucking_ as much as they can.” 

Clovis makes a pouty noise, squishing his cheeks in his own hands. 

Meta turns his head back to Clovis, “Stop pouting. That attitude will not get you anything.” 

“But  _ Meta… _ ”

He sighed. “What do you want?”

“I wanna cuddle.” 

Meta silently kept looking at Clovis, with his squished cheeks and big sea-blue eyes. “I cannot disappoint that face.” He picks his boyfriend up, letting him sit in his lap and lean against his chest. “Here you go.” 

“Thank you. Now, what does this all say?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyyy you made it! 
> 
> uhhh terms
> 
> \- glamour: illusion on object, usually a disguise for a person  
> \- Third-Eye: someone immune to illusions  
> \- podship: y'all probably know already. but just kind of a baby ship. like a space car
> 
> there'll be more terms later


	2. Podship Ride To Destination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exactly what it says on the tin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eheyyy all the chapter titles will be able to be sung like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme
> 
> well. here's more. don't worry, we'll have action soon, i just specialize in the Funny Dialogue

After a three-hour spiral which ended with them watching old Haltmandran animation and cringing at just how oversexualized it was, Resham was knocking at their door. “Alright, bitches, it’s time.” 

“Oh, good. I don’t know how much more of this I can look at.” Clovis rolled out of Meta’s lap and joined Resham outside Meta’s room, Meta reluctantly following behind. Clovis led the way to their podship, an inconspicuous one devoid of any emblems or symbols, used for missions to hostile planets so there was no group to trace it back to. Meta was still grumbling about something, but neither Clovis or Resham could make it out. 

“Clovis, is Meta in his glamour?” 

“Yep. Not a scar to be seen.” 

“Good.” As Clovis headed back up to the pilot-pod, Resham pulled Meta back to the passenger-pod, seir computer in hand. “I’ve got a few glamour ideas, and I think since you’re the one doing them you should be the one to pick it out.” 

Three images popped up on screen. All were rather similar in bone structure, and all were thin and awfully pale, but there were a few differences - one had rosy pink hair pulled into a short ponytail and excited, fiery orange eyes, another with wild jungle-green hair and unamused faded blue eyes, and the third with short, perfectly straight yellow hair and doll-like pale pink eyes. 

Meta tapped the rightmost image, “This one. Why are they all so pale?” 

“It’s a Haltmandran thing. They like this pale-ass skin. And seeing as I’m supposed to be a gem, I need my glamour to be as gem-like as possible." 

“Mm. Grody. But I’ll oblige.” He glamoured Resham to test. Of course, Resham couldn’t see anything, being a Third-Eye, but to Meta, sey were unrecognizable, looking as pale and unnatural and unsettlingly cute as any other gem. 

He quickly adjusted Resham’s clothes for good measure, before grabbing Resham’s computer and taking a glamour-picture. “Here is the glamour I will use once we are in the gem sectors. Do you approve?”

Resham glances back at the screen, with the photograph of Meta and semself, now unrecognizable. Meta looks like some edgy warrior Resham would’ve idolized when sey were twelve, and Resham like a doll. 

“I hate it. It’s perfect.” 

A smile quirked at the corner of Meta’s mouth. 

Resham looked up at him, “Holy shit, you’re  _ smiling. _ ” 

“I am?” Meta tilted his head, his large ears flopping to the side. 

“Barely. It’s  _ the _ tiniest smile I’ve seen in my life, but it’s there.” Resham laughed. “I’ve done it! You’ve shown emotion!”

“...Damn you and your third eye.” Meta hung his head in false defeat, chuckling a little. “I’ve been caught.”

“Bamboozled, bitch!” Resham did finger guns, looking back at the glamour-photo. “You look like a guy I’d have a huge crush on back when I thought I was a girl.” 

“What? Not now?” 

“I’m not into edgelords anymore.” Sey shrug. “Also, does my glamour  _ have _ to be in these shorts?”

“Yes, you do. You looked up Haltmandran fashion, did you not?”

“That’s the infie shit. Gems are a lot more practical.” 

Meta wordlessly pulled up a few images of gems wearing very similar clothes to Resham’s glamour. 

“Mostly. But, like, at least give this a jacket,  _ please _ .”

“You are not going to see it.” 

“I don’t have ass to grab and I don’t want the gems discovering us because I am a flat son of a bitch.” 

Meta sighed, adjusting seir glamour’s clothes to something more practical. Gems often worked in weapons, which let them decimate whatever the hell they wanted, so Meta gave Resham something for the weapon manufacturing district - bulky jacket covered in pockets and a gold H pin on it, a knee-length skirt. He was keeping the crop top underneath. Sey wouldn’t know. 

He took another glamour-photo, “Is this better?” 

“Mm-hmm. Definitely.”

“Alright. And Clovis will stay as is?”

“He said he got some proper clothes for us on the ship, and he passes as a gem, apparently, so yep. He’s just gonna vibe in some revealing shit you’d probably give your left arm to see him in.” 

“Do not insult me.” 

“...That seems like a threat.” 

“It might be.” 

Resham just sat there, intimidated. Meta couldn’t stand looking at seir weird pink doll eyes any longer, so he dropped seir glamour, and sey were back to seir watermelon self. 

“I would not hurt you, do not worry.” 

“Okay, okay, good to know.” Resham breathed a sigh of relief. It didn’t help that sey always saw the more monstrous Meta, the Meta that looked like he could kill sem with one punch. “I’ll… go see if Clovis has his disguise on. I can pilot a ship if I need to.” 

“The word ‘pilot’ is used very loosely in that sentence.”

“I didn’t  _ kill _ anyone.”

“You destroyed two podships.” 

“Fine, I’ll just keep it on autopilot.” Resham closed the door behind sem, now in the pilot pod. 

Clovis turned his head. The ship was on autopilot, by the looks of it. “Oh, Resh. Need anything?” 

“You gotta put on your disguise. You said you brought yours on board already, didn’t you?” 

“Oh, yeah, that. I didn't forget that this time. I’ll go change, you make sure we don’t crash or anything like that.” 

“Roger.” Resham plopped down in the pilot’s seat, watching the stars go by and the small green dot on the location interface tick ever closer. They were heading straight for Haltmandra, just as planned. With an unmarked ship like this, there likely wouldn’t be any attacks on them from any faction-affiliated drones, so they were good to go. Resham waved at Swash’s ship, seeing it in the distance, passing by a mega-satellite. Sey knew she couldn't see sem, but it was nice knowing she and her crew were all still okay. If not for them… well, a lot of the NightMare Empire’s prisoners would’ve died. And yet around the galaxy they’re still known as nothing more than evil space pirates. Instead, the Intergalactic Fighters were credited with most of the work, with Swash’s hijacked podship having been a “coincidence”. 

“Y’all really don’t get what y’all deserve,” sey told the ship. 

It was a long while before anything else interesting happened, the flight having been surprisingly attacker-free. Clovis soon came back into the pilot-pod with the proper disguise, and Resham was sure Meta was going to have a hell of a time with that later. 

Clovis put the ship in autopilot and slung a huge podship-worker jacket over what could barely be called a shirt and shorts. “Are all infies like this?”

“I mean, they’re brainwashed to hell and back, so maybe,” Resham shrugged, now in a similar outfit to Clovis’s, albeit with actual pants. “At least Meta’s enjoying the view.” 

Meta was as blank-faced as ever, but he was clearly looking at Clovis. 

“Okay, Resham, now it’s my turn to brief you real quick.” Clovis sat down next to Meta, soon wrapped in his arms. “Please try not to let anyone know you’re a third-eye. If they know about that, you could jeopardize the mission.” 

“I can do that. I’ve had plenty of practice. From what I’ve seen, anyone who can use a glamour will use a fuckin’ glamour. Once had to pretend a sixty-year-old man was a lovely young woman who was not eyeing up my silver fox of a dad no way.” 

“That is incredibly specific, and for that I trust that you can do what Clovis asks of you.” Meta leans forward, resting his chin on Chrom’s head. 

A chime played throughout the ship, and Clovis quickly left Meta’s lap. “Oh, fuck- That means the ship’s landing. Sorry, Meta, gotta make sure we land safely.” With that, Clovis was gone, and Resham and Meta were alone again. 

“So you are saying your dad was a dilf?”

“Oh, shut it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> glossary i guess
> 
> \- Gem: Haltmandran classified as superior, live in various districts named after minerals used in jewelery. Often work in weapons manufacturing, so they can just destroy whatever the hell they want.   
> \- Infie: Short for "Inferior", basically any Haltmandran that isn't either a gem or working for the highest of higher-ups.   
> \- Intergalactic Fighters: basically a big organization that beats back evil around the galaxy, Clovis, Meta and Resham were all part of it but then left

**Author's Note:**

> eyyyyy you made it! 
> 
> uhhh terms
> 
> \- glamour: illusion on object, usually a disguise for a person  
> \- Third-Eye: someone immune to illusions  
> \- podship: y'all probably know already. but just kind of a baby ship. like a space car
> 
> there'll be more terms later
> 
> i'll update this p often, got like four more finished chapters and i'll spread em out over a few days to give me time to work on more of them 
> 
> love you zero *platonic smooch*


End file.
